That solid white line may was well be a wall

Surrounded by the red team

Tokyo Drift

I’ve been driving in Hong Kong for a few months and it’s always a bit of a challenge. There are a few good rules of thumb to get you through things. Being aggressive is rule number one but you need to always keep your eyes open too.

Rule 1: Grand Theft Auto

You really need to know where you are going before you get started. There’s no real grid system so you need to know where your exits are and which direction the streets go. If you miss your turn off, you are in for a long series of detours to get back on course. The signage is also last minute too. You can be assured that if you see a sign for where you want to go, it will be at the exit. I haven’t had to know the streets this well since I had to do a drive by mission for the Yardies in Grand Theft Auto.

Rule 2: Tron

You know how you aren’t supposed to cross the solid white lines when you drive? Well in Hong Kong crossing a solid white line guarantees you a ticket. It is one of the most infuriating experiences when all you can do is stare as your exit wizzes past you with no traffic impeding you except for that damn white line. Those lines show up everywhere so you need to make sure you get into the right lane when you get the chance. This also causes traffic jams as cars rush to change lanes while they still can. It’s like a desperate game of Tron and the red team (taxi cabs) is the worst. They will cut you off at the first available moment and will not let you in no matter how desperate you try to push in. Many a time I’ve been tronned by cabs and forced to take a roundabout route to get to my destination.

Rule 3: Chicken

Driving is also a lot like playing a game of chicken. Cars will not let you into their lane unless you make them let you into their lane. What this usually means is the person with the more expensive car usually loses because they are less likely to want to get that pretty car scratched up. When traffic is tight you just edge your nose in and that luxury car will always give way and let you into their lane. That still doesn’t explain why I couldn’t wedge my way into a Benz SUV the other day. That car was just determined. I was so taken by surprise that it felt like a crime against nature. It was like the time my dog kept breaking out of the yard and going for daytime sojourns all day long. I’d come home and the gate was open but my dog would be asleep in his dog house. A neighbor had to tell me that my dog was the littlest hobo all day long but instead of helping people, he would chase squirrels and crap in yards. I didn’t know if I should be amazed or humiliated.

Rule 4: Frogger

Pedestrians always lose.