Your free donut sir!

The Unified Theory of Everything

In physics, there is a concept known as super-symmetry. Basically what it means is that every particle has a closely related partner. It closely ties energy with matter and is both organized and elegant.

Anyways, why am I bringing this up? Well, I was at Krispy Kreme getting some donuts and coffee the other day. I noticed that the line up was long (which was a good sign for the franchise here) and there was someone handing out free donuts as usual. Thing is, I had never seen this guy in here before and he didn’t look he was part of the regular staff. He was greeting everyone in English and his deformed face looked really familiar to me. Did he remind me of someone I knew? Did I actually know this guy? Did I really know a guy this ugly? No, no and no.

He handed me a donut and he spoke with a bit of an accent. “Welcome to Krispy Kreme” he said. “Please have a free donut sir”. I still couldn’t place him and kept staring at him as I moved ahead and placed my order. Then I overheard him say the fateful words. “Hello little girl, what’s your name? My name is Bolo.” No. It can’t be. I looked over at him. Instead of two original glazed wrapped around his meaty paws, I pictured rags. Instead of piping hot icing dripping off the donuts, I imaged shards of broken glass. Instead of the clerk repeating to me “Sir, your medium coffee is ready” I heard the chant “Kumo Tay!”

I swear to god. I just got served Krispy Kreme donuts by Bolo Yeung, star of "Bloodsport" opposite Jean Claude Van Damme. This has to be the ugliest man to ever have his martial arts captured on celluloid; obviously, I was a big fan. Am I certain that that was him? The pictures I took of him didn’t turn out but seriously, how many people named Bolo actually look like Bolo Yeung? How elegant the universe is that two of my favorite things, seemingly so disparate are actually closely related. That day, there was a supercollider in my heart and the Krispy Kreme Particle slammed into the Bolo Yeung Particle and created a pure energy annihilating bloom of joy.